Thoughts Of Aaron Today. (Not a Rant)

In memory of Aaron VanVark who passed away January 17, 1998

(School Newspaper article)

For no particular reason, I started thinking about Aaron today, like I do a lot of days. I wanted to share my thoughts.

Aaron was VERY intelligent, had an extremely fun and sometimes strange sense of humor (I type this while remembering his pet (dead) bat he found in the bowels of the school, which he carried around in a clear plastic container and called him Mr. Bat). He was quick-witted and had many, many talents!
Aaron was an amazing artist, musician, performer, and a wonderful friend.

I still remember everything from those years as if they were yesterday.

There's so many fond memories of Aaron at school and outside of school. My earliest ones were in grade 9 Drama class, before I actually started hanging out with him. I had a big crush on him those earlier years of highschool. I remember a weekend when our drama group arranged to meet at his place -when he lived with his Grandma- to discuss and practice our skit we were going to put on for the class. I purposely arranged for my ride to pick me up late so I could be left alone with him... oh the devious things girls will do! When my ride showed up, I quickly planted a smooch on his lips and then ran out! Oh it was humiliating the next few days! He and his friends endlessly teased me (but in a playful way)... Aaron wasn't interested in me when it came to anything beyond friendship. However, after that week we became pretty good friends.

(School Newspaper article)

We had tons of fun in Caswell's drama classes, Mrs. Sheppard's history class - I think Aaron and I were her favourite students (I type this with a big, proud grin on my face) and Mr. Banting's Art class too - we used to make fun of each others art! He had a knack for expressing emotions in abstract paintings, boy was he good. ENSS smoke breaks and lunches were always a hoot when Aaron graced our side of the building with his presence. He mostly hung out on the other side, but when he came to ours there was never a moment without laughter.

During the last year of Aaron's life, I was dating one of his best friends, Rich aka Rick, so I became really close with Aaron, his girlfriend and some of his other friends. I got to know much more about Aaron, his hobbies, his talents and his personal life.

Aaron played bass for the band "Zombies Ate My Neighbours" (Later named Z.A.M.N) which had a pretty huge following in the local band world those years.

(Photo stolen from Bug's Facebook)

On weekends there were always events for us to hang out at. Most of those events were local band shows where his band would put on outstanding performances, other times just small parties. I can remember one specific party when Aaron came around the corner of the bathroom door to see me with my head in the toilet and Rich shaving over the sink at the same time - I can still picture the expression on Aaron's face when he saw us, if only I could remember the quick-witted thing he said about needing to use the bathroom!

It was always a blast getting together with the group (Aaron, Bug, Isaac, Rick, Ryan, God-aka-Anthony and the girlfriends- Kate, Rachel and myself. I hope I'm not forgetting anybody). The guys would meet up for coffee after some of them attended Catechism classes on Wednesday nights to "shoot the shit". Sometimes us girlfriends would tag a long. When Aaron passed away, the group still continued to meet up at the same place and time until everybody had started moving away.

They were a tight group and supported each other during their loss of a great friend.

The evening Aaron passed away, Rich and I had invited him and his girlfriend to go see Titanic. However, they decided to make other plans for the night. I think about that night a lot and even though I can't change the past, I still wish they would have came with us instead.

Rich stayed over at my house that night, which is where he got the call the next morning from Aaron`s dad, Art. I knew something was wrong because Art sounded shaken up, like he was trying to hold himself together as he asked to speak to Rich. After I passed the phone to him, Rich didn't say one word while holding the phone to his ear. He hung up then fell against the wall. Needless to say, the next few days, weeks, and months were torture for everybody close to Aaron.

Aaron's passing was hard on everybody, but I think it was hardest on Rick and Bug.
Knowing Aaron was NOT a "pill popper", it was extremely frustrating to accept the way he died. Aaron ended up overdosing on morphine pills. They were found in a medicine cabinet at the house where him and his girlfriend were staying the night.

Aaron never woke up the next morning.

I remember the day shortly after his passing when we all gathered in his bedroom at his newly built house. It was suppose to be the family's dream home and the last time they moved. Understandably, after Aaron's passing, that dream and many others were crushed. There was a very somber cloud hanging over us in the room that day as we sat and spoke of our good times with Aaron and tried to make sense of what happened the night he died. We later found out the morphine he took didn't have the effect he was hoping for; so, not knowing they were extended-release pills, he took more
and then more.

Aaron's father was trying to stay strong for us all while we were there and was even kind enough to let us keep something out of his room if we wanted. I chose to keep a novel off his bookshelf, which I actually lent to Aaron a year before :)

Even after my million moves over the years and as silly as it is,
I still have that book.

That's where I keep my only hard copy picture of Aaron.

(Grade 9, during Drama class in the morning, hence the still waking up look.)